I have worked in computer support for 5-6 years now and I think my colleagues everywhere will thank me for telling you this:

– Windows and Office are NOT the same thing. So often we'd get called up in September and screeched at because someone bought a new computer and Office wasn't on there. It's not part of the operating system, although I'm sure Micro$oft has already run the idea past its lawyers. I have also noticed a charming little urban legend beginning to circulate among some undergrads, namely that the difference between XP Pro and XP Home is that "XP comes with Word." And why do you sound so proud of having XP Pro when you don't even know why it's different from XP Home anyway? In the same vein, when we ask you which operating system you are using, please don't look around wildly and say "Uh, Office 2000?" You're smarter than that; don't choke.

– Enough already with the Invoking of the Husband. We actually WANT to help you, regardless of gender. And yes, there are plenty of women working in tech support, including me. Deal with it. We are not "tokens", nor are we receptionists.

– I don't care what your idiotic ISP told you–you don't HAVE to use Internet Explorer. All the same sites will still come up in Firefox or whatever.

– Get comfortable using keyboard shortcuts instead of mousing everywhere; it's much, much faster and will save your wrists in the long run.

– The web is not the whole internet any more than track & field is the whole Olympics.

– I don't think asking you to click on the Start button qualifies as "getting technical with you".

Stop being so intimidated by computers. They work for you.

And btw, everything on this site is absolutely true.

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